Over the past year I've had several bouts of sleep anxiety. When I lay down to try to get to bed I get so anxious about not being able to fall asleep that I end up spiraling in my head and the anxiety compounds and grows out of control. I can get very uncomfortable in situations I can't control, like when my kids are sick, and this feeling of helplessness is particularly difficult and sometimes scary for me. I’m a pretty cerebral person so my instinct is to use my thoughts to manage my feelings and sometimes that can backfire.
When I was building companies I'd frequently wake up in the middle of the night and obsess about a conversation I needed to have with a team member or a lingering issue I needed to address (like firing someone or providing tough feedback), or I'd just stew about a competitor’s feature release. The issues would range from trivial to existential. I'm somewhat used to the struggle to get back to bed and fortunately don’t grapple with it frequently, but having trouble falling asleep in the first place is a new and intimidating thing for me.
It started in March when I had to wake up at 4am one day for an international flight. Ironically, it was the night I finished reading Why We Sleep which probably put some artificial pressure on me. I was recovering from a cold and so concerned about making sure that I fell asleep so I'd be rested for my trip that I couldn't sleep at all. It was the first time I felt anxiety physically manifest in my body as an incessant tingling in my arms. Since then I’ve had a couple more instances of this, mostly catalyzed by a feeling of helplessness about an event in my life.
While I’m extremely grateful this is a rare occurrence, I of course am concerned that it will happen with more frequency in the future. Sleep anxiety is really uncomfortable, and I have a great deal of empathy for people who struggle with sleep related issues. Perhaps an overreaction, I’ve started to research (ie completely fallen down the rabbit hole) CBT techniques to help. I’ve also cycled through various sleep products from the Eight Sleep mattress which we returned (I may try the ChiliPad since it seems less tactile and has a half-bed option), an Oura ring, and other smart sleep devices. I’ve found that the more things I buy for sleep and the more I focus on it, the more I feel pressure to perform. Oftentimes the obsession with the act has a counterproductive impact.
I’m going to play with a couple apps like Stellar Sleep and Sleep Reset to better understand how CBT is used for managing sleep anxiety. It makes me really happy that entrepreneurs have worked to help people with digital tools and education in this space. I'm somewhat surprised I haven't stumbled on a dedicated network for people to connect and share their sleep experiences and tips outside of Reddit.
Getting older is a weird thing. The problems I heard about when I was young and seemed like made-up adult issues gradually creep their way into life. I’m so appreciative that I made it 36 years without experiencing sleep anxiety, and I’m optimistic that tackling the issue will be a rewarding adventure. More than anything, I’m going to do my best to accept that sometimes things are very much out of my control and my world won’t collapse if I struggle to get to bed (or back to bed) on occasion. If anyone has any tips or recommended resources, please do send them my way.
Jared Hecht
Over 500 subscribers
Most valuable exercise from this for my insomnia so far is "worry journaling" Before bed scheduling 15 min to write all the things you're worried about or trying to think through. This helps reduce racing thoughts when trying to sleep Only thing that has actually helped me in a really long time
I used this app when I first started getting bouts of this. More around anxiety before sleep than insomnia itself. https://jared.xyz/sleep-anxiety
Things that were most helpful for me were breath exercises, a sleep mask, white noise machine, and the following supp stack: https://supp.co/products/allergy-research-group-200-mg-of-zen-713947747005-e930575e-1677521856 https://supp.co/products/codeage-liposomal-apigenin https://store.drhyman.com/products/catecholacalm
The worry list you mentioned helped too. As did reading, cranking AC, and some stretching. Basically a consistent and relaxing routine while learning some new skills/tricks.
I do this too. Very helpful. Another one for me is not working too late or opening work context (Warpcast) before bed. I try to write this list earlier if possible.
Interesting, I tried many things, Sometimes I use that pre sleeping time to "think" on paper about current projects: sketching, design, UX, architecture, and all that things that can be done on a paper. I know that should skip working but having no way to skip thoughts at least I can be productive or meditate about any other thing. the goal is to drain all the brain energy. cc @jpfraneto.eth , I guess Anky also helps with that?
Blocking Warpcast app after 11am also works equally well.
I've found that helps me a lot too something might seem huge in my head, but seeing it written out and taking up a relatively small amount of space on paper makes it seem much more manageable
I love this. I also really like Calm Sleep Stories. They mess with the audio subtly and I’ve never heard the end of my favorite story, “Blue Gold” by Stephen Fry.
Hey @linda I created a thread for you on things that can help you too I also recommend and app I’ve been using for years You can check em out and see if they help https://warpcast.com/traguyeth/0xf7b8d7d6
Thank you!
I’m happy to help whenever!🤎 I saw you found an app that helps How’s it going now? You can also try the tide app. Really helped me fr Did you find the thread helpful though? I’m trying to be there to answer any questions people in this community might need regarding their health to the best of my knowledge. Doing this as my way of contributing to this society🤍 I’m here for you to reach out to if you need any more help or info on anything else regarding health or anything in general Glad you were able to find the thread haha @linda Take care fr!
Hi linda Has this still been effective for you even till now?
Stopped using it but this was the biggest takeaway https://warpcast.com/linda/0x07f2ea75
Thank you so much, Linda How’s the insomnia now though? I have been looking for a chance to ask but I should, now that I see you’re active Has it been better?🩷 I also have a couple of questions for you tbh. Been really needing answers on them
I should give it a try. I was so worried that I couldn't sleep, but it's a good idea Do you want to be friends with me….?