Lessons From My Dad

Pursue your interests and passions unapologetically. A joy for stacking sticks and stones may one day lead you to a beautiful sculpture garden and happiness. My parents bought a lake house in upstate NY over a decade ago. There, my dad started a hobby of balancing pieces of wood and rocks. He'd spend full days outside stacking, and over time, these became freestanding sculptures that decorated their entire property. It is incredible and brought him great pride. His friends are making a book of his work.

Don’t be afraid to pioneer uncharted waters and do what others won’t, especially when it means you can help people. My dad has saved countless lives because he did things unconventionally. He is a legend in the field of cardiology and helped to bring CT and CTA scans for heart disease mainstream. For years, his ideas were believed to be radical by the establishment. He was laughed at and antagonized by many. But he knew deep in his gut and in his marvelous brain that he was right and he persevered. Because of him and some of his peers, you don't have to die of heart disease.

Even when life feels downtrodden, this too shall pass. Don’t jump on the tracks, just wait to board the next train because there’s always hope and love and happiness ahead. When I was in high school my dad spiraled into a bout of severe clinical depression, and he was very open about his experience with it. I was in my own world at that time and largely unaware of the extent of it, but it was absolutely terrible. He shared with me that there were moments where he was suicidal and wondered if he should jump in front of the subway. But my father sought help and he was extraordinarily resilient. He fought that battle and won, and without a doubt the best years of his life came thereafter. I think he liked to talk about this because not only was he proud of overcoming it, but he wanted people to know that there can be light ahead. That if he could do it, so could you.

Marry up. My dad would always say that he wasn't the "best person" or a very emotionally attuned guy for a chunk of his life, but that over time he became a better person. His only explanation for his progress was that my mom brought out the best in him. He was right. She put all of herself into their relationship and loved and cared for him infinitely. Through the very end, she made him a better person with each passing day. Fortunately, I married up, too.

At the end of the day, family and meaningful relationships are everything. Nothing else matters. In these final months, I never once heard him talk about possessions, his professional accomplishments, or even the lives he saved. The only thing he cared to talk about were the people he loved and cherished. He emphatically pronounced this the day before he died: family and friends are everything. We all know it. And that’s how I plan to honor his legacy. By building a life filled with meaningful relationships and family. 

I love you dad and miss you terribly. But I know for certain you will always be with me.

Pursue your interests and passions unapologetically. A joy for stacking sticks and stones may one day lead you to a beautiful sculpture garden and happiness. My parents bought a lake house in upstate NY over a decade ago. There, my dad started a hobby of balancing pieces of wood and rocks. He'd spend full days outside stacking, and over time, these became freestanding sculptures that decorated their entire property. It is incredible and brought him great pride. His friends are making a book of his work.

Don’t be afraid to pioneer uncharted waters and do what others won’t, especially when it means you can help people. My dad has saved countless lives because he did things unconventionally. He is a legend in the field of cardiology and helped to bring CT and CTA scans for heart disease mainstream. For years, his ideas were believed to be radical by the establishment. He was laughed at and antagonized by many. But he knew deep in his gut and in his marvelous brain that he was right and he persevered. Because of him and some of his peers, you don't have to die of heart disease.

Even when life feels downtrodden, this too shall pass. Don’t jump on the tracks, just wait to board the next train because there’s always hope and love and happiness ahead. When I was in high school my dad spiraled into a bout of severe clinical depression, and he was very open about his experience with it. I was in my own world at that time and largely unaware of the extent of it, but it was absolutely terrible. He shared with me that there were moments where he was suicidal and wondered if he should jump in front of the subway. But my father sought help and he was extraordinarily resilient. He fought that battle and won, and without a doubt the best years of his life came thereafter. I think he liked to talk about this because not only was he proud of overcoming it, but he wanted people to know that there can be light ahead. That if he could do it, so could you.

Marry up. My dad would always say that he wasn't the "best person" or a very emotionally attuned guy for a chunk of his life, but that over time he became a better person. His only explanation for his progress was that my mom brought out the best in him. He was right. She put all of herself into their relationship and loved and cared for him infinitely. Through the very end, she made him a better person with each passing day. Fortunately, I married up, too.

At the end of the day, family and meaningful relationships are everything. Nothing else matters. In these final months, I never once heard him talk about possessions, his professional accomplishments, or even the lives he saved. The only thing he cared to talk about were the people he loved and cherished. He emphatically pronounced this the day before he died: family and friends are everything. We all know it. And that’s how I plan to honor his legacy. By building a life filled with meaningful relationships and family. 

I love you dad and miss you terribly. But I know for certain you will always be with me.

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